As I sit here writing this post I can look around my life and see so many areas that need fixing. So many things I want to do, behaviours I want to change. Honestly… it is a little overwhelming.

I’ve come to realise that I have a problem. I’m always in a hurry. I’m in a hurry so much that I really struggle to enjoy the moment… and believe me I try. I am grateful and I am mindful but within reason. I struggle to be in the moment for too long. I struggle with expectations and letting people down. I struggle with letting myself feel the things I’m feeling. I struggle to accept certain things and let things be.

I have excuses and reasons just like everyone else. Doubts. Fears.

I don’t really know what the point of this post is. If I’m being honest… I’m really struggling to define myself currently. The crisis feels barely there in our state anymore and so what am I left with? During COVID I was proud of myself for going to work every day. Proud of myself for losing weight. Now what? What do I have to be proud of? It’s nothing special anymore. I’m not doing any good deeds I’m just doing what I’m supposed to.

So as we head into a new season… with new beginnings and new adventures… this is what’s currently circling around in my brain. It’s absolute chaos in there.