Number One – Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.
This is something that I learned when I was around 15 years old. Every relationship problem at this age felt like the absolute end of the world. It felt like my life was crumbling apart. I found this quote online and it really stuck with me, so whenever something bad happened I could use this quote to calm me down. It is not something to think too logically about, obviously there is no real ‘end’. However, when you are 15 and your boyfriend cheats on you, it definitely helps to give hope for a better future. Maybe that future will never come, but at the time you don’t even consider it. At 15 I had so much hope for a better future and I still do. Most of my other things I’ve learned are from self reflection now that I am 25, but I think this one deserved a spot. 15 year old me struggled so hard but she had hope. I pray that part of me never goes away.
Number Two – Put your health first.
Okay, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I don’t eat the occasion burger, donut or fries. I love food and all the good things about food. Fast food makes me happy as hell. Cake makes me smile. Also it’s no secret, I love to party. Yes, I know. These things are not good for me. However, I think having the awareness of the things you do that are not healthy is actually very healthy of you. Being aware of the things you are putting in and on your body is hugely important. The way we treat our body is important. We are very lucky to have normal functioning bodies and we should repay the favour by looking after it. You don’t need to change your entire life, and you’re not going to be perfect straight away, but I think it is very important to be aware of the choices you are making. If you’re not sure where to start, maybe just ask yourself some questions. Is this good for me? Is this going to make me feel better? Is this good for my body Could I be doing something better? Take note of your answers. Your health is hugely connected to your mood so it is not something to take lightly.
Number Three – Put yourself first.
This is a hard one. This is one I am still learning to do. I know too well about giving someone your everything and in turn, losing everything. I gave my ex’s all of me. I spent all my time trying to please them and make them happy, I made my entire life about them. They didn’t ask for this, it is just my nature to give my all to someone. But that meant when they left I had nothing. No friends, no money, no life without them. I didn’t even know who I was without them. My entire identity was gone. Now, as a 25 year old, I try to focus on my own shit. Sure, I am happy to support my boyfriend, but my energy belongs to me now. My goals, my ambitions, my likes and dislikes. That is my vision and that is all I see. I see a future with Stefan but it is my future, not his. If he were to leave today, I would be the exact same person. That is an incredible feeling to have. If you don’t feel the same, then it might be time to take a look at yourself and your needs. You are all you have.
Number Four – Never underestimate the power of a strong support network.
Okay, I might be making this up. But years ago in university I heard about a study about rats on drugs, I guess some sort of hard drug like heroin or something, I cant recall. Anyway, the rats who had a support system gave up the drugs whereas the others did not. I think that’s bonkers. And obviously it’s rats not humans. But imagine that the only thing standing between a life ruining drug abuse problem and not is a support system. So I guess what I’m saying is, even though maybe you’re all good on your own. Maybe you ‘don’t need anyone’. But… maybe you do. Make a conscious effort to reach out to your friends. Stay in contact with your family. Treat your family like a friend, they deserve effort from you. Be a good friend so that you can have good friends in return. There will come times in your life when you need someone, hopefully when that time comes you will have plenty of support.
Number Five – Give it a go.
There are going to be many times in your life where the only way you can tell if you like something, are good at something or if it works for you, is if you try it! You can read all the research you like, get opinions from every single person, buy all the programs… but you won’t know unless you try it yourself. I have spent a lot of my life waiting for the right time, trying to perfect something before I try it, trying to plan something out… when really I should have just started straight away. If you are given the opportunity to try something, take it. Maybe it’ll be the best thing you ever did. Try not to let the fear of the unknown stop you from making great decisions. Just try, in anything in life, any situation, give it a go and then you can at least say you tried.
Number Six – Explore and prioritise your sexuality.
I’ll admit this one is a little risque. This is actually something I have only starting really putting into place at 25 years old. For many years I only prioritised my partner’s wants and needs. I will admit, being with Stefan has been a really good move for my sex life. However, I noticed that if it had been some time since I had sex I would get physical symptoms such as irritability. I then had a problem I hadn’t faced before, I was very reliant on Stefan to please me when I needed… and I don’t think that’s fair for him. So I took matters into my own hands (literally) for the first time in my whole life… and I can honestly say it’s been one of the best things I’ve done for myself. I truly do not need a man anymore.
Number Seven – Trust your instinct.
We can ask for all the advice we want but ultimately I think we know what we truly want and need for ourselves and our life. Only you know what excites you and what doesn’t. You need to go after your own dreams. Try not to take people’s advice too seriously, as you are the one who is going to live with the decisions you make. Choose what makes you happy. If something is giving you butterflies… go after it. If something makes you a little nervous, just go for it! And if something feels off, listen. Listen to your gut. Sure, some people may not agree with you, but that doesn’t matter. I tend to get a real ‘feel’ for people when I meet them and it is something I am very aware of. I may have an opinion on someone straight away and others might not agree with that opinion, but this is where I think its important to be aware of what your gut and mind are telling you. Snakes are everywhere, man.
Number Eight – Find problems before your brain makes them for you.
I was listening to a podcast recently where a man was explaining that people with no problems in life tend to actually get anxiety due to this reason. The brain needs problems to solve, and if there are no problems the brain will make them for you (anxiety). We, as human beings, need something to work towards. We need goals, aspirations… problems to solve. Be aware of this. Challenge yourself. Expand yourself and try new things so that you have new areas to progress in. Start a new hobby. Try to improve your current skill level. It will do wonders for your life and mood.
Number Nine – Be aware of your mental health spectrum.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you need to spend all your time trying to better your mental health. Sure, it’s important. But it’s also fucking hard. We have lives, jobs, families, problems to worry about… sometimes improving our mental health doesn’t make the cut. That is totally okay. So if you are in that situation, where maybe things in your head are no so great, you need to be prepared for when your bad days come. For when your bad thoughts come unexpectedly. Have a plan ready of things you can do to combat these issues. For example, if you know that when your work is too stressful you tend to have panic attacks, have a list of notes on your phone of things you can do when you feel a panic attack come on… get a massage, get some fresh air, have a nap, etc. You need to be aware of the things that effect you and how you can quickly overcome then. Sure, having a nap is probably not going to solve your anxiety disorder, but it is definitely going to make a hard day a little easier. Some days you don’t need to win, you just need to survive.
Number Ten – Cherish your family.
This is something that I have only recently been thinking about. I guess growing up you just kind of take for granted the fact that you have a huge support system right inside your house with you. You don’t have to worry about bills or rent or food or anything. I can’t believe how many times I hated my parents. Every time I got annoyed by them. Every time I thought they weren’t good enough parents. I think now that I am getting closer to starting my own family I am truly understanding the value of having a family. I am very blessed to have two parents who are still together. I don’t know anything about divorce. I don’t know what it’s like to have a broken family. I don’t know what it’s like to have a family who hate each other. I don’t know what it’s like to have a family member who doesn’t talk to the rest of the family anymore. I can’t even fathom that kind of emotion. To know that at any time I can just call my Mum and she will come save me is such an amazing feeling. I feel like I can fly and not be afraid of falling thanks to my parents.
Number Eleven – Be a passionate person.
Growing up I was told to be careful. Be careful with your feelings. Don’t rush things. Don’t be stupid. Think it through. Honestly… fuck that. Be the person who loves too fast and too deeply. Be kind and funny. Be over the top with presents. Look after your friends more than you need to. Shout the bill. Nothing matters more than being a good person to your family and friends. Love your job, love your pets, hell… love your neighbours. Say hi to strangers. Say I love you more often. Give things your all. That’s what truly matters.
Number Twelve – Kill them with kindness.
I know it’s super easy to be mean. It’s easy to be mad at people and project your irritability onto them. It’s easy to hold a grudge. Easy to think about revenge. Easy to stay mad. But I’m telling you right now, it is so much easier to let it go. The best thing you can do for yourself and for others is to just be kind and move on. Do you have an ex that you still follow on instagram? Do you check his new girlfriend’s posts all the time? Why do you do that? Really ask yourself… Stop looking at them and look at yourself. The only person who suffers when you hold onto negative emotion is you. You don’t want to spend your life as the negative person who could never move on from anything. Using other peoples behaviour as an excuse to be stuck is not good enough. You are being weak. You are so much stronger than that. Be better than them.
Number Thirteen – Find an exercise that you actually enjoy.
Alright, let’s talk about something a little less heavy. Exercise. Is that a scary word to you? Is that something you think you should do but don’t want to do? I feel you. I know it sucks, but when you’re 25 its definitely time to start thinking about how you want your body to survive your next 75 years! Physical activity is hugely important for our body, our bones, our stress, our mood… everything. If you don’t have an exercise that you enjoy doing then it’s probably because you haven’t found the right thing for you yet! We live in a big, scary world with so many sports and hobbies for you to try. Personally, I like lifting heavy things, walking, dancing and netball. And kicking the footy.
Number Fourteen – Prevention is better than cure.
So many times I have heard people tell me about how unhealthy they are and brag about how they don’t have anything wrong with them. Mum, I’m looking at you. I know that you don’t have any physical illness’s from smoking, but guess what… You eventually will. It is inevitable. Now obviously certain things that you can do for your health aren’t always going to directly prevent you from disease and illness. But hell, at least try. Let’s think about this less morbidly… stretching. Sure, you could go to the gym 100 times a year, never stretch and never get an injury. But, you’re the exception. It makes more sense to not risk injury and just try to practice habits that will help lessen the chance of getting injury, by stretching. Imagine you don’t stretch, you hurt your shoulder, you need to go to the physio for 6 months, no heavy lifting for 6 months, your job is effected, you lose a lot of money. Was all this caused by not stretching? Maybe not. Could stretching have helped prevent the injury and lessened the chances of getting the injury? Yes! Basically what I’m trying to say is… stretch. And take your vitamins.
Number Fifteen – Fill your feed with people who bring you joy.
This is something I have been working on for a few years now. It is a slow process but it is one you need to be consciously making an effort towards. When you stalk that person how do you feel? Do you get jealous? Do you wish you were her? Do you start to envy her life? Or maybe you laugh at her? You silently bully her. Maybe you get annoyed by her… everything she says pisses you off. You think she’s stupid. You think she is what’s wrong with the world. Guess what? You are the problem. Stop following people who bring out negative emotions in you. Stop being mean about people. Cheer people on instead. Follow positive people. Follow people who spread the message that you believe in. If you are interested in learning a certain topic then follow professionals in that area. Use your free time to learn and share, rather than waste it on crap.
Number Sixteen – Learn to be comfortable alone.
This is something I still struggle with. As someone who is very co-dependent, it is scary to be alone. I feel like I need someone by my side for everything. But we don’t grow as our own person if we are constantly tied to another person. How would you feel if you had to go for a 15 minute walk on your own with no phone and no music? Does that scare you? Think about that for a minute. Why are you not comfortable with yourself? What are you scared of? You are not alone if this is something that frightens you. But it is something we all need to work on. We need to be at peace with ourselves and our mind. Fall in love with yourself! Be your own best friend. Talk to yourself even. Be a fool. Sing. Dance. Whatever you want to do, try it on your own.
Number Seventeen – You are never too old or wise for personal development.
There is no end to personal development. You can never win at it. It is something that is constantly growing and changing. Maybe you are 50, your kids are all moved out. You think you know yourself as a person and are sure about yourself. Does that mean you are perfect? No. Is there something you would like to be better at? Do you have any flaws? Is there something you need to reflect on? You need to ask yourself these questions often so that you always have something to work towards. Trying to be a better person, friend, partner, parent, etc. is something you can always strive for.
Number Eighteen – Find your voice and yourself. Never stop searching for her.
So often I see so many girls who are unsure in themselves. They are timid, they have low self-esteem. They change themselves depending on the people they are around. They change their opinion on things to suit the group. Girl, let me tell you… just stop! The best part about you is that you are you. You have your opinions on things and you are entitled to them. You know what you value and you know what you expect from others so you need to be clear on that. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You do you!!!! This is exactly why I got my ‘stay true’ tattoo. It is a reminder to stay true to my opinions, values and morals. No matter the situation. No matter who thinks I’m right or wrong. If you are with your friends chatting about a certain topic, tell them your views. No one is right or wrong, but you are allowed to have opposing views. You are allowed to be you. Plus, things are more interesting when we tell others how we really feel.
Number Nineteen – Tiny habits will lead to life changing results.
Oh you want to change your life? Let me tell you right now… it’s easy. All it takes is a tiny habit. A tiny little change in your every day routine. That’s how you make your life change. But it’s going to take some work to stick to this habit. You need to have a system in place to make it as easy as possible to keep your habit up every day. It is up to you to put your system in place and to stick with it. If you don’t know how to do this I would highly suggest doing some research on this. Everything in life basically comes down to your habits. How you succeed in life depends on your habits. It is important and it is worth putting conscious effort in.
Number Twenty – Invest in yourself and your future.
Over the last year I have spent a lot of time in the present. I am trying to be more aware. However, I also am spending my time trying to set things up for future me. Future me needs present me to not be a lazy shit. All I need to do is a few tiny habits to really change things for future me. I take a bunch of vitamins every night… does it do anything for present me? Hell no. It takes a few seconds, nothing happens. However, future me is going to be so much healthier because of this tiny action. That is something worth doing. So think about future you and your future life and how you want it to look. Do you want to be super rich and fit? I’m sorry, but present you needs to actually make a budget and start running every night. I know, it sucks. But you need to start putting things in place so that you can have the future that you want and deserve.
Number Twenty One – Try not to settle.
This is a hard one. Especially because this is something I have done… A LOT. It’s so easy to settle though. It’s comfortable. It takes no effort and it feels good in the moment. But it’s not good for you in the long run. Don’t waste years of your life on a partner that constantly shows that he is not what you expect from your ideal partner. Don’t waste 8 hours a day on a job that doesn’t satisfy you. By settling, you’re basically just wasting your time and energy. You only have a short amount of time here so why spend it not being fulfilled? I say ‘try’ in this one because I know sometimes we don’t notice straight away that we are settling, or maybe we feel a little bit stuck. Be aware of the places in your life that are not fulfilling you… try to get out of this situation as soon as you can.
Number Twenty Two – Its either a fuck yes or a no.
This is a beautiful quote that I have heard a few times now. I love it. It is basically the sum of a lot of these things I have already listed but in a simpler form. This is something you can hold with you always, and tell yourself often to really make you reflect on your choices. Does your partner make you happy? Are you going to marry your partner? Do you enjoy your job? Do you feel happy when you go to bed at night? Do you feel joy when you are with your friends?
Number Twenty Three – Learn from every experience.
Despite all these things I have listed… life is going to go wrong. Statistically, a lot of bad things are going to happen to you in your life time. The only thing you can control is how you react to these things. Are you going to let them ruin you and negatively effect you? Or are you going to learn from them? There is a lesson in everything that happens to you. You just need to find it. Reflect and grow.
Number Twenty Four – Have faith.
Personally, at this age, I do not believe in God. Each to their own in terms of God but I believe it is important that you find your faith. Whatever that may be. If you don’t have faith in God, have faith in a higher power. If you don’t have faith in a higher power, then have faith in the universe. Have faith in luck. Have faith in serendipity. You don’t have to believe in God to have faith in spirituality, in my opinion. As we age we will have more and more questions about the universe and I think it is important to have faith during those times.
Number Twenty Five – Never stop seeking joy.
The best thing we can possibly experience in our time alive is joy. Joy is the thing we strive for. The thing we work for everyday. The reason we get out of bed. Ultimately, everything we do is in the hope that we will get joy out of it. Don’t forget that. The joy of being alive, of being happy, of being loved, that is the ultimate thing we can experience in life. Before you know it, your time will be up. You will have no more experiences left, only memories. When that time comes I hope you are able to look back and think of how much joy your life was filled with. Joy should be your reason for everything. I hope that you find it as often as possible.
journey to a better life 